deep thoughts

Fast forward 3 months, currently I'm in my 5th posting, Orthopedic, which leaves me one more posting to finish housemanship. Almost a month in orthopedic and I think I have totally adapted to the system in this department. Still missing O&G sometimes, I miss the smell of newborn, just freshly out from their mummy's womb, I miss being part of the beginning of motherhood, I miss the smell of liquor too ha-ha, the sound of baby's heart beat, the anxiousness whenever seeing there is a deceleration in the CTG, the excitement to cheer the mother to PUSH! PUSH! Sometime, when I look myself few years later, I'm seeing myself as an O&G medical officer, some other time, in an alternate future, I'm seeing myself as other than O&G doctor, maybe psychiatry, or working in Klinik Kesihatan. When I think I have made my decision to be in O&G team...suddenly I feel like am I suit enough to be one? 

It's okay, still have plenty of time to think. 

Now let's talk about wedding preparation. 

To be honest, I'm worried the wedding might get postponed. Look around, the COVID-19 cases keep on rising, up till yesterday the cases was 1400++. Of course as a woman I have my dream wedding. Even if the government allows only up 100 guests to be at one time, we would take that chance and do the ceremony. The problem is that, if, if the government make the rules NO GATHERINGS INCLUDING WEDDING on the date we have chose to get married, then only the solemnization would be held. The wedding? Postpone until the date to be determined later. What worries me is that what if it get postponed to months later and we were no longer in the mood to hold the wedding? 

If only the solemnization allowed in February, no wedding, I pray that we have the chance to choose the venue, and please be it HOME. Just please, so that I could have a mini wedding dais, so that we could take photos together with our families and loved ones for our own keep later. Ameen ameen inshallah. 

I agree with the fact that COVID-19 is surely a test to us all. 

Many loss their job, no money to put food on table, to keep the roof over their heads, some loss their family members due to this pandemic. I really really hope 2021 would be a good year. 

Now we are already in December, with the case shows no signs of improvement, I mean look at the numbers, everyday it is more than thousand cases, so my question is would 2021 be a good one for us? 

And the answer, 

Only Allah knows. 

Let's pray for the best

May Allah grant my prayers to get married and hold a wedding ceremony in February 2021. 

Inshallah. 

:)