raya favorite questions

Wow it's almost 9 months since I graduated from medschool and still waiting to becalled for housemanship. Hopefully june intake so that when raya comes, you know during raya this aunties and uncles love to ask questions like: 

When i'm still in medschool: 

1. When youre gonna finish study ea? 

2. Youre in what year already? 

3. Hows school? Can take blood properlynow? 

4. I have this this condition. What do you think? Any good meds for this? 

Anticipated questions for this coming raya: 

1. When youre gonna start working? 

2. Which hospital? 

3. Which department? 

4. When youre gonna get married? 

5. I have this this condition. What do you think? 

Few weeks before Program Transformasi Minda (PTM), we already knew which hospital we're going to work in. The date for PTM has been locked on 24/6- (not sure) usually 5 days kot, means that E-ho will be at the end of May or early June so meanss thattt if I get selected in this intake, I can already give the answer for question 1.  

unsettled feelings

I haven't watch the last installment of MCU for third phase yet. I decided to not scrolling down socmed as usual afraid I'd see the spoilers until two days back when Shahrin asked me which team I am. This question really triggered me, wanted to know more I looked into RDJ's instagram account, reading the comments from fans...scrolling down the twitter...and suddenly I knew the whole storyline even before watching it. I feel soooo frustrated why atthe first place I did read the spoilers 😭 I'm not the die hard fan of MCU but I did watch all the movies, avengers end gameis something everyone has waited for long, it is the end for the first generation of avengers. Even already been warned dont spoil the endgame, after 2 days in cinema you can see spoilers everywhere. I should not read them at all. It was a wrong move ever and now I feel like there's unsettled feelings. Despite that, at the same time I do feel like it's okayyyyy even if I've read the timeline I'll be surprised anyway soon I watch it on this coming Wednesday. Plus the time travel is already quite confusing for me that is why I google for more explanations 😅 Looking forward for the next phase of MCU. 

World's greatest gift

I wonder how it feels like waking up in the morning knowing that the one your lovewhere not around anymore. Throughout my lifetime, I never face any lost in the family. When most of my friends had lost their grandparents, mine still around. Grandma is 82 years old now, while grandpa is 87. They were both 56 & 61 each when they had me. Theyre like my second parents. I am my parents' first born. I was a difficult baby. I cried a lot, like 24/7. No caregivers would dare to accept a cranky baby. They need to go to work, they had hard time to handle me, that was when my grandparents offered hands to help. Since then, I live with them till now. I was 8 when my parents decided to move nearby my grandparents house, they moved in a year later after my father get involved in motor vehicle accident and broke his leg. 

I get used to this environment since the last 8 month after I graduated from medschool, waking up seeing grandma reciting quran in front of tv, while tv played morning news, we then started making breakfast, running errands, visiting relatives together, cook for lunch, talk about everything, cuddling and kissing them. Imagine wake up in the morning knowing all this things were no longer exist. I cannot imagine that. I still remember when I was 7, I wrote a letter to grandma and grandpa each, telling how much they meant to me, thank you for raising me, and begging them to stay with me forever. 

Today I told grandpa, I'm afraid I cant accept their lost once it happens. What if I become too sad till I fall into depression, I cant go to work, I turned everything off,I pushed  everyone away, and just live in my own circle. Grandpa told me, 

"Whatever it is, whatever it takes you have to accept it. You cant change it. Every soul shall taste death. Even if I want Allah to delay it, I cant, it is already destined. You can cry, but dont too much afraid you will fall into misery. Ask Allah for strength.Inshallah we will all be seeing each other in the heaven" 

I felt like crying. Few days before grandma went to Mecca for umrah, she asked me, 

"What will happen to you when I'm gone?"

I lost for words. Cried in silent. She then added, 

"When my time comes and Allah takes me, take care of yourself. I can no longer look after you. Do good and be good" 

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I was hugging her tightly scared of losing her when we had this conversation. 

Alhamdulliah at the age of 26, I still have them around, they had witnessed my oath taking ceremony as a medical doctor the day I graduated from medschool. It stroke my heart when grandpa told me he prayed hard to Allah to give him chance to see me graduating from medschool. Nowhe ask for another chance to witness the day I get married and having kids. 

Even when theyre not around, I would never fail to tell my kids stories about their great- grandparents. Theyre the world's greatest gift. I would never trade them for anything else in this world. 

Grandpa is the best relationship advisor ever! He taught me many things about marriage thingy. Same goes to grandma. Ahhhhhh i love my grandparents so much. In fact, I adore them. Even after 61 years,theyre still being silly towards each other.