Monday, June 3, 2024

A year without you

June 3rd 2023 was the day I lost my grandfather. 
It has been a year today. 


Many things had happened since then.
It still feels like yesterday I talked to him, hugged him, laughed with him, heard him talking about his childhood days, his career, the tough days during British and Japan colonisation and many more. He loved to talk. Like a lot. Most of the time, I just listened to his stories. 


Home feels different without him. 
I used to spend time in his room listen to his stories. A year has passed, I could still feel his presence. He has this chair that he used to sit, next to the dining table. I could still see him there, watching tv, smiling when we called his name. Sometimes our cat, Yulip would meowing, and climbed to sit on his lap. He would caressed him and Yulip continues meowing to get his full attention. 


A year has passed, never did we say “late grandpa” whenever we talk about him. We say grandpa as if he is still alive.


My grandpa routine started with waking up for fajr prayer before 6. He would spend his time to recite Holy Quran after each prayer. He had finished a whole Quran at least 3 times in a year. Breakfast in the morning with grandma. Watching tv next. Then got into his room. He usually did these few things: either sleeping, reading newspapers, reciting zikr; he did a lot, like a lot, gifts for his late mother and father, he told me he had recited 100 000 of 3 qul and 100 000 of other things for them. Other than that he would be doing some calculations; something to do with his saham koperasi sometimes zakat/assets. 


When it’s the time for prayer, he prayed. When it’s time for meal, he ate. Unlike my grandmother who is a picky eater, he would eat anything, never did he lose his appetite until his very last day in this dunya. The day Allah took him from us, he still ate his lunch. He loved black grapes, the one without seeds, yakult, orange juice from Twister, and ikan baung masak tempoyak. He loved baung masak tempoyak really much. He didnt mind to eat it for days. He would slurp the gravy till the very last drop. That’s how he loved baung masak tempoyak. 


I remember the time when he sent me and picked me up from school. I was a crybaby back then ha-ha, I would be crying every time he picked me up late from school. How could I not? I was the only one left outside the school compound while the rest of the pupils already went home. 20 years later, I’m still a crybaby-sometimes hahahaha. My husband called me so lol. Sometimes he would ride his bike, some other times he drove his old edition of volkswagen bettle which the other pupils would be laughing at me calling the car “kereta katak”. There were times I prayed to Allah please dont send the rain down today because I dont wanna go to school in that car! Hahahahaha. Youngsters…they just dont know how to appreciate the uniqueness of that classic car! Hahaha. I kind of miss that car now. My grandfather sold it for 11k years ago. 


A year has passed now. 
This morning my grandma asked me to put the old photos from different separate albums into one thick album. There were lots of pictures of you, grandpa. I think I like the grandpa version of you rather than the younger version of you hahahaha. You looked way cuter and cheekier in grandpa version. Your younger version makes you looked like a strict man, I dont like that! Hahahahaha. I’m glad I met the old version of you. I pray that we could see each other again in Jannah inshallah. 


Oh Allah, 
Please forgive my grandfather, raise his rank among those who are guided, expand his grave and take care of us which he leaves behind him. Ameen ameen inshallah. 






 

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