housemanship: a year has passed

7/7/2019

My first day being a medical doctor.

I will always remember my first day. 

I was clueless. I was very slow. 

I was assigned to Ward 8 Male, which turned out to be an active ward that day. Meaning it was the busiest ward. I was in charge of cube 5, where chronic cases like ESRF, congestive cardiac failure, COPD, AEBA were in. I came at 5 am, it took me 3 hours to review 8 patients. It was very hard for me to digest things. I introduced myself to MO and Specialist during round, first poster, day one of life, please guide me. They convinced me, 

" If you survive medical, you will survive all" 

Post round, I needed to request for MRI brain. Heck no. Straight away fancy investigation. On my first day some more? How am I suppose to do this? With the help of my senior, I went down to MRI suite. Feeling clueless, I just watched him presenting the case to the radiologist, and granted. The next day onwards, I tried my luck and the moment they said "okay, bring the patient down" I felt like ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED. Ha-ha! 

Endorsing medications on PHIS were troublesome for me. Took me almost half an hour. Like I said, I was very slow. Next helliest thing was blood taking especially when boss ordered multiple blood investigations for just one patients, then you multiply by 3. I need to remember each colored bottle stands for specific blood investigation. For example, purple is for full blood count, HbA1c, coombs test. Grey is for fasting blood glucose. Red is for therapeutic drug monitoring. And many more. The minute boss ordered many blood investigations in one go, many times I had trouble to calculate how much blood I need to withdraw, and taking ESRF patient that need to spare one limbs- while the other limbs already had branula with drips/ drugs - and other veins already collapsed- which lead me to the last resort- I need to poke the artery- into account, I need S.O.S STAT.

Yup, my first few weeks in medical was hell. 

I didn't know how to manage my job-list. Blood taking STAT, requesting urgent imaging, tracing blood investigations, discharging patients, clerking new cases. I didn't even have time to eat! 3 days in row I ate nothing. Not lying. Because I seriously couldn't find time to eat. Multiple times I sought seniors help. Especially blood taking and branula insertion. It was hard. Some willingly offered their hands to help, some just ignored me. Many days I wake up feeling empty. I felt like how nice it is if I cant wake up in the morning, like let me sleep forever, I don't want to go to work. There were days I felt regret for requesting medical as my first posting. I felt like I am a burden to all since I was so slow. 

Nevertheless, I am grateful that I chose Hospital Muar to do my housemanship. My family is always with me. They were there on my gloomy days, I cried a lot. My parents woke up early in the morning to send me to work, and waited for hours in the car up till the middle of the night. Yeah on papers they said tagging is from 7 am - 10 pm, hell no! you can only go back after you finish all your jobs. There were days I ended up going back at 2 am, slept for only 2 hours, at 530 am I already came to work doing morning reviews. My parents sacrifices their time for me. My father never stopped motivating me every single morning while on the road to work. My grandparents prayed a lot for me too. 

Thus, my only tips to those who are currently waiting for housemanship, choose the one that is close to your family. No need to read reviews on this-this hospital. Just forget it. In any hospitals, there will always be shits, malignant seniors/ superiors that you need to face, so whatever it is you need to adapt fast to the environment. 

"It is survival of the fittest" 

It is my family and endless prayers from them that keep me going through this field.
And for that, I am thankful enough to Allah. 

Till then :)