Friday, August 19, 2016

home is you; i said

I was just a little girl years back, wondering what would I be when I'm grow up, imagining myself as a successful woman with happily ever after relationship, blessed with cutie little pumpkins named after my favorite drama characters. Cant you believe we are approaching the end of August, 8 months had passed, a quarter of year left till 2017. God, how quick time flies, I didnt realized it, I am turning 24 in 6 months. Most of my friends had finished their degrees, started working, some had enrolled into masters program, got engaged to someone they love, now planning for their wedding, and few had got married. Well, you cannot expect everyone in this world walking the same path as you do, right? 

Somehow I missed my high school friends. It has been ages since I last met them. I don't have many friends, and I don't even have a close friend. None. I just go mingled with anyone that might have quite same interest with me, can talk to or hang out with. At the end of the day, we all will be on our own. Just be kind. 

"always be kind, as everyone is fighting a hard battle" 



I still remember the first time I landed my eyes on him. We were 16. We were in the same class for a year before the authority separated us into different classes. He was no body to me. I did never imagined that I would be so madly in love with him. It was after graduating high school, this one event happened, and finally I realized that I had this kind of weird feeling towards him. He too felt the same I guess. I was not so sure if it was right or not, turning friendship into a love-hate relationship, without even thinking the consequences that might happen if it was a failure. We will never be friends again. Never. 

It wasn't a lovely relationship in the beginning, we fought a lot, I cried a lot, thought it would be end soon, yet somehow we made it, up to now. Been together for 5 years and half never totally, completely, put me into a secured feeling, well anything can happen in the future. I shouldn't love more, I need to restrain myself from thinking of him, shall I be hurt then, I talked to myself. Wondering is he really made for me? What if, all this years are such a waste? Hmm come think of it, marriage doesn't promise forever, if yes, why there are divorcee everywhere on Earth?

Get hold of yourself! At this point of time, medical school is more important. I think this thoughts wont stop bothering until finally I know the answers. 

"is there any signs of us still being together next year and ahead?"

Who knows? Still, we need to fight for it, no regrets.